


I Want What I'm Not Sure I Can Have

by xoginasfs



Category: Frank Iero - Fandom, Gerard Way - Fandom, My Chemical Romance, frerard - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Other, Physical Abuse, Rape elements, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 07:47:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11687211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoginasfs/pseuds/xoginasfs
Summary: Frank didn't have a whole lot of luck with choosing his boyfriends. They'd always seemed so perfect but they'd always end up not. But he never learns.





	I Want What I'm Not Sure I Can Have

Frank sat inside of the cemetery, not necessarily visiting anyone. Ironically, it was the place where he sought refuge and the place his boyfriend wouldn't dare to search as he was a very superstitious man. He sat with his legs crisscrossed with his hands in his lap. He thanked whatever higher being there was that they decided to spare him from the cold (although it was a little bit chilly) because he forgot a jacket. He kind of just left. 

He had no idea this was what he signed up for when he ran away with his boyfriend, but lately that seems like it's been all he's been doing—running away. He didn't realize things would turn from a sweet relationship to his own personal hell. 

He thought Matt was a good guy, but just his luck he was worst than all the rest. Frank always went for seemingly good guys foolishly believing that at least one of them he could spend his life with but that always proven to be untrue. 

There was always something that went wrong in his relationship; cheating, verbal abuse, and just being used for his body. But never has he ever experience physical abuse, not until Matt. 

Matt was the full package of something you just simply didn't want. He did it all. Things were great before he cheated.

Frank went out with his best friend Gerard and he comes home later that day to find Matt fucking some girl and Frank was sat in this same cemetery he is today. Heart broken and betrayed but still willing himself not to cry unlike he is today. Today was an exception. 

Frank gave him the cold shoulder for a while, and him being the naive boy he was, he forgave him. He should've seen that cheating was a sign they weren't going to work out. 

He hasn't seen Matt cheating with anyone since, or maybe it's because he's been more careful. Frank isn't really too sure about him anymore. He's unpredictable. 

Next came the verbal abuse, at first it was played off as a joke but it was always degrading and recently he's been pushing more buttons on Frank and doing anything he could to get under his skin. But now he's not saying it's 'just a joke' anymore.

Today Frank decided to talk back.

That's why he's here in a cemetery. One of his eyes blue and black not to mention kind of swollen with tears streaming down his face. His entire body was sore and he didn't want to go home, but he had no where else to go. He didn't want to intrude on his friends let along explain why he had a black eye, bloodied lip, and maybe other bruises, but he didn't check yet. 

He heard footsteps coming into the cemetery. He immediately looked down at his lap. "Frank?" He heard someone say in disbelief. He recognized the voice as his friend Gerard's. He didn't respond, he saw Gerard's boots appear in his line of sight. "What's a pretty boy like you doing in a place like this? You're only here when you're–" He spoke with a smile in his voice. He crouched down to see Frank's face. "...Sad. Why are you crying?" From what he could see of Gerard's face his lips were formed into a frown. 

Normally, Frank would've blushed when Gerard called him a pretty boy, he knew it was kind of Gerard's nature to be flirty and he had himself a bit of a silver tongue–generally a charming guy, but Frank just wasn't feeling it today. "And Is-Is that a black eye? What happened to your face? Who the fuck–" He reached out for Frank, he was about to tilt his chin up before Frank jerked he his head in the other direction. "What happened?" Gerard took a seat next to Frank gently placing a hand on his shoulder. "Matt said he was looking for you and that you weren't answering his calls..." 

Those words kind of just set Frank off tears began to fall faster. "He beat me," he mumbled quietly. 

"What?"

"He beat me," Frank choked out putting his face in his hands and sobbed loudly. 

"What the fuck?!" Gerard yelled immediately getting on his feet on the verge of wanting to murder the fucker. Frank pulled him back by his sleeve. "Do you think I'm gonna sit here and let him get away with that shit?" 

Frank shook his head getting up as Gerard yanked his arm out of Frank's hand. He ran up to Gerard grabbing his arm again with a tighter grip this time. He was pleading for Gerard to just leave it alone. "C'mon, Gee! You said it yourself—a smile is the best revenge!" Frank said forcing the a grin with his eyes wide and teary, making Gerard eat his words. He was tugging on his arms desperately looking up at him trying to gain his attention. He could see that Gerard was fuming and he looked like he was ready to kill. 

"You think I can fucking smile at this shit?!" He spat. 

Frank made a small noise in the back of his throat. "Please Gee, I just don't want to be involved with him anymore!" Gerard finally looked back his glare sharp and softening a bit after he saw Frank's face. He looked as though he were considering just leaving it be. 

"I'm not letting you go back to him," Gerard mumbled angrily no longer attempting to go anywhere. His breaths were still heavy and it was clear that he was only letting it go for now. His fist were balled up so tightly his knuckles were turning white - he wanted to punch something, preferably Matt for laying his hands on Frank in a way he had no business doing. 

"Where will I go?" Frank asked immediately receiving a look from his best friend that was seeming to question his intelligence.

"You're coming with me," Gerard's voice was strict. "God, like I would say that and not have any place for you to stay." 

"Ar-Are you sure?" Frank asked, his voice a bit weak from crying. He let Gerard tug him up and wrap an arm around his shoulder as he guided him back to his car. 

"Of course Frank, you're my best friend," Gerard muttered, still feeling the rage boiling within him from what Matt did. Matt was also a friend of his–a close one at that. And to think after Gerard gave him his blessing and all to Matt, this is what he does to it? He fucking abuses him? He was the one who introduced him to Frank. He was going to fucking pay for this even if it put him in jail. Because Gerard didn't think simply talking it out would be satisfying enough. And he certainly wasn't going to leave this unchecked.

He knew that Matt could be a bully but just as easily as he could be a bully, he could also be a little bitch. And he was determined to make that little bitch show in him one way or another. Frank always seemed to have bad luck with guys and he didn't deserve any of it. He was well intentioned, well meaning, and overall a very sweet and genuine guy. His looks were just a bonus because he was very good looking.

He wanted to Frank to find someone he knew would treat him right... And he knew exactly who but he wasn't too sure how to tell Frank. He gently squeezed the other man's shoulder who was leaning against him slightly as they walked. "What else has he done?" Gerard asked as they approached his car. He could hear the anger in his own voice. He practically sounded blood thirsty, and he might've been. Gerard opened the passenger seat for Frank before hopping into the driver's side. 

"I–It's been an awful couple of months with him..." Frank admitted. He hadn't told Gerard about any of it, but there was no sense in hiding it now, not that he really should've before. He had a bad habit of pretending things were fine even if they really weren't. He didn't like complaining. 

"Wh-What? Why didn't you say anything? What has he been doing?" Gerard asked, trying his best to control his temper but he was so fucking angry. He was seething. Absolutely seething. He gripped on his steering wheel, trying his best not to punch something because he had a real urge to. He just wanted to get this anger out of his system because it felt like it was practically tearing him apart. He knew it meant he cared for Frank a lot. The amount of anger he was feeling made him realized he cared for Frank a lot more than he knew. 

Frank sighed and slumped in his seat pitifully. "Everything started going downhill when he cheated on me..." He sniffed, trying to prevent anymore tears from falling, even though that fear near to impossible at this point. "So after a while of being, like, hostile towards him... I forgave him. Because—Because I'm stupid..." Frank muttered, feeling a tear roll down his cheek. 

"You're not stupid Frank..." Gerard sighed softly and took a hand off the steering wheel to pat his back. "What else happened?" 

"After that–Everything was fine for a while... I was still kind of skeptical of him and I think that's what might've got him into insulting me... He'd just constantly call me names, playing them off like jokes until he stopped caring when I got offended and never said 'I was just joking, relax,' anymore. He also generally got more aggressive... Like with more intimate things–"

"He... He didn't force you to have sex did he?" Gerard asked almost immediately after Frank said that. 

"N-No not exactly... It just didn't feel as good as before... I-It hurt he wasn't making sure that I was doing alright anymore as well. It was all just for him, he didn't care about what I felt... Even after I told him it hurt and I didn't want to do it anymore," Frank muttered looking down at his hands shamefully. His voice was trembling more and more and he didn't realize how bad that sounded until the words actually came out of his mouth. "Oh god..." He whined with another sob to follow shortly after. He didn't realize how bad it all really was. 

Gerard couldn't help it when he punched the steering wheel and blared the horn, "Fuck!" He yelled. Frank jumped with shock and Gerard let out a deep sigh. "That's not good, fucking fuck he's so fucking dead. I swear to god," Gerard mutter to himself. 

"G-Gee please... I really don't want to have any involvement with him anymore..." Frank pleaded. He gently grabbed Gerard's hand from the steering wheel with both of his own. Gerard's hand was shaking violently. He knew he was mad. He wasn't even confident he could calm him down at this point. 

Gerard's hand gripped somewhat tightly on Frank's. "I'm sorry for ever introducing you two... I thought he was better than that..."

"It's not your fault Gee, we didn't know this would happen and I didn't take the chance to leave sooner," Frank sighed. "I'm the one at fault here. I should've knew... It's always the ones who seem too perfect to be real," he muttered, his grip on Gerard's hand also tightening slightly. "They're always so fake... But I fall for them so easily because they always know what to say." 

"Fuck," Gerard spat and gently pulled his hand away from Frank's and he pushed his hair out of his own eyes and finally started the car. "You can stay at mine for as long as you need–"

"Shit!" Frank swore and he slapped the dashboard with both of his hands. Gerard looked over to Frank. "Oh no...Oh no, I have to go back to Matt. He has Sweet Pea I can't just leave her there," his eyes were fearful with the thought of going in there and he wasn't looking forward to it. 

Gerard nodded wordlessly and drove the direction to Matt's house. It was Matt and Frank's house at first, but Frank wasn't going to be living there anymore. He was going to grab as much of Frank's stuff as he could and 'talk' with Matt then leave. The drive to Matt's house was mostly silent aside from the occasional sniff from Frank's end, but no words were spoken between the two of them. They were both extremely upset in one way or another. 

Eventually, they pulled up to Matt's house and Gerard was the first one to get out of the car. "Stay here," Gerard ordered, slamming the door behind him. 

"Wh-What?" Frank reached for the door handle, not wanting Gerard to get involved. 

"Don't make me turn on the fucking child safety locks, Frank. Stay here," he repeated but much more sternly this time. Frank listened and slumped back in his seat. The main reason he listened was that he didn't want to face Matt again. He knew it was selfish on his part, but he was terrified of the man now. 

"Please don't do anything stupid, Gee," Frank begged. "I just want Sweet Pea. I don't care about anything else." 

"I can't promise you anything," and with that, Gerard walked off with a purpose. He knocked on the door loudly. And Matt answered the door looking distressed. Gerard tried to make his face as neutral as he possibly could. 

Matt smiled slightly, "Hey Gerard, did you find Frank?" He asked. 

"Uh yeah, hey can I come in?" he asked quickly, one foot already stepping on the ledge.

"Yeah, yeah, of course. Where's Frank?" He asked as he walked inside and closed the door behind Gerard. And with that, Gerard punched him square in the jaw. Matt fell against the door and clutched his face. "Wh-What the fuck–"

"I know what you did you fucking piece of shit," And he swung another punch to his body. When Matt folded over to clutch his stomach, he grabbed him by the little bit of hair that he had. "Where's his dog and his stuff? You two are fucking done," he growled. 

"I-I don't know where she is... She...She's in here somewhere," he cried. This was exactly what Gerard wanted. To see him acting like a little bitch. He pulled him by his hair before and slammed him back against the door. Matt slid down to the floor with a grunt and began to cower in fear. 

"Where's his stuff?" 

"I-In the room upstairs! Please stop, I'm begging you," Matt pleaded pathetically. "Sweet pea might be up there or in the backyard, I don't know. "Just please leave me alone." 

"Just one more thing," Gerard said and Matt mistakenly looked at him. Gerard wasn't satisfied yet so he slapped him across the face and the sound of the slap was almost enough to satisfy him. But he was going to stop here so he didn't get carried away. 

Gerard went to check the backyard first for Sweet Pea and he could already hear her whining, but it wasn't coming from the backyard, it sounded like the door that went to what Gerard assumed was the basement, so he opened it and the little dog came running out excitedly, seemingly oblivious to what was going on. "Hey girl," he smiled a bit and she jumped into his arms. Gerard was glad that she liked him because it made this a lot easier. He went to the cabinets to see if they had any garbage bags he could pack Frank's stuff into. He saw some and grabbed five just to be on the safe side and left out of the kitchen to see Matt still where he was on the floor with fear in his eyes. 

The look Gerard was giving him was extremely unsettling. Almost like he'd be urged to kill him if he moved or said anything. A fair sized purple bruise was already forming on Matt's jaw and his face has a patch of red, roughly the size of Gerard's hand on his cheek and he was clutching his shoulder. He must've hurt it when he slammed him into the door. Gerard ran upstairs with Sweet Pea in one arm and the bags in the other. Luckily, in their room, Sweet Pea's leash was right on the dresser that Gerard assumed was Frank's. There were also cute little clothes for her there too. First Gerard put a leash on Sweet Pea which she got really excited for and he hooked the leash to the door knob so she wouldn't run off. 

Gerard opened up one of the trash bags and threw the rest on the floor and filled it up with a good portion of Frank's clothes. The dresser seemed to be entirely Frank's because Gerard recognized a lot of the clothes and it was also a very Frank style. Matt was into brighter colors and more 'trendy' things. He filled up another bag with the rest of Frank's clothes and then got a third bag and checked the closet. It was full of shoes and Frank's favorite guitar was in there too so he got that and threw it on the bed for now and also got the guitar case so it would be easier to carry. He filled the third bag with the shoes he recognized as Frank or something he'd wear, not caring if it was actually Matt's or not. He checked every other drawer in the room, leaving Matt's shit alone and putting all of Frank's accessories into his pockets of in the pockets of the guitar case that was all packed up since he was almost done. 

He doubled up the full bag of clothes and the shoes with the last two bags and slung the guitar over his shoulder and tried to figure out a way he could bring all of this stuff to the car in one trip. All of the garbage bags had little strings on them that he could carry, so he was hoping he was strong enough to take it all down. And he hoped the bags were strong enough to last the journey to his car which was right outside. He put the straps of the bags on his wrist and grabbed Sweet Peas leash. It was extremely heavy but he had to at least get it all to his car. 

He made it downstairs with sweat forming on his forehead already. Luckily, Matt moved out of the way from the door already and was sitting on his couch, looking wearily at Gerard and Gerard left wordlessly with Sweet Pea trotting happily in front of him. He was glad she was okay at least. 

When Frank saw Gerard he immediately got out of the car to help him. "Oh Gerard, you didn't have to get all of my stuff. I just wanted Sweet Pea." Sweet Pea looked absolutely thrilled to see Frank and was jumping all around his legs excitedly and making small whining noises because she wanted attention and he'd give it to her as soon as he helped Gerard get everything settled in the car. He took the bags from Gerard one by one and set them in the back seat of his car with the guitar laying sideways on the floor of his car. "Thank you so much, Gee," Frank said and pulled his best friend into a hug. Gerard immediately wrapped his arms around Frank and Frank had his cheek rested on Gerard's chest. 

"No problem, Frank," Gerard sighed softly. Sweet Pea was jumping at both of their legs and making small whimpers for attention, but they ignored her for the moment. Gerard begrudgingly let go of him and silently sighed to himself. "Alright, lets go home." 

Frank nodded and crouched slightly and patted his knees and Sweet Pea jumped and Frank caught her. "Hey girl," he said with a big smile on his face and started walking to the other side of the car. Gerard smiled at the two and got in the car himself.

On the drive back to Gerard's house, it was mostly quiet. Sweet Pea fell asleep in Frank's lap as he petted her. After a while Frank did speak up. "Gee?" He asked timidly. Gerard hummed in response, keeping his eyes focused on the road. "What did you do to him?" He asked. He knew for a fact that Gerard had to have done something. As much as Gerard was against violence, Frank knew he was very willing to break that moral to defend the things that he stood against or cared deeply about. And Frank would've been stupid to think that Gerard didn't care about him. He also knew that Gerard was against everything Matt put him through, but he definitely crossed a line when he started physically hurting Frank. 

Gerard sighed deeply, the thought of Matt pissing him off. "Not as much as I wanted to. But all I did was punch him in the jaw, slammed him into the door, and slapped him," he explained. "But I wanted to beat him to a fucking bloody pulp and spit on him," Gerard was gripping on the wheel tightly against. "But I knew you wouldn't want that. So I stopped myself from going any further."

Frank smiled slightly, looking down at Sweet Pea, "I would've let it happen if it didn't risk you getting in trouble."

"Trust me, I don't care about that," Gerard responded, turning into the street of his home. 

"I know you don't but I do know that you care about me," Frank said giving Gerard a small smile. 

Gerard nodded slightly, "Yeah." He parked into his drive way. 

"Is Mikey still staying with you?" 

"Nah, he left to go back to Cali two days ago, so it's just us," Gerard killed the engine and pulled the keys out of the ignition. 

"Oh man, I wish I got to say hi... It's been so hectic the past few months. I miss him. I haven't seen him in a while," Frank sighed. He gently moved Sweet Pea and unbuckled his seatbelt. He opened the door and Gerard did too. Frank held Sweet Pea close to his chest as he got out of the car. 

"Yeah, he was wondering where you were since you usually hung around most of the time. I wish I knew what was actually going on rather than thinking you were too occupied with Matt," Gerard closed the door. 

"Nah, I would never do that, compared to you guys, Matt was almost nothing. Even when things were good," Frank responded furrowing his eyebrows. Gerard smiled at that. "Can we put Sweet Pea inside first real quick? And then I'll help you grab everything out of the car." 

Gerard nodded and walked up to his house and unlocked the door to let Frank inside. Frank gently placed Sweet Pea on the couch. Everything here was still just as it was since he last saw it which was a couple of months ago. Through the past months after Matt cheated, Frank's mainly been keeping contact with Gerard through text and maybe an occasional phone call. Gerard was already coming in with Frank's guitar and one of the bags so Frank went out to grab the other ones. Well try at least. His body was too sore to bring himself to carry anymore in between his muscles hurting from trying his hardest to defend himself and generally the possibility of having bruises all over.   Matt was strong and a frequent gym goer compared to Frank. Frank was assuming that Gerard was just naturally strong to have been able to do what he did to Matt and come out without a scratch. Frank would be surprised if the man ever set foot in a gym since high school. Gerard came back outside to see Frank struggling to get the other two bags inside. "Ugh, sorry everything kind of hurts so I kinda need a little more help."

"Oh no, it's-it's fine, when we get inside we need to talk more about it if you're okay with that?" Gerard asked. 

Frank nodded as Gerard took the bags from him and Frank closed the car door. "Sorry..." Frank sighed depreciatingly as he followed Gerard inside and Gerard waved him off. Gerard pulled everything that was in his pockets out and placed it on the coffee table. "Oh you got those too?" 

Gerard nodded, "Yeah, I tried my best to get everything I thought was yours." 

"Thank you so much, Gee," Frank said. He was such a good friend to him, he did too much. "Oh man, I think I'm gonna have to buy Sweet Pea a new food and water bowl and food."

"We can get that in a bit. Or does she need to be fed now? Because the corner store sells dog food. I can't remember," Gerard suggested.

Frank nodded, "Yeah, can we go there real quick please?" He asked. "I'm so sorry, you're doing so much for me." 

"No, no, it's perfectly fine," Gerard smiled at him. He really didn't mind at all. He'd do anything for Frank with a smile on his face. All he had to do was say the word and he'd have it done. Frank checked the make sure he had his wallet and luckily he did. Stuffed in his pocket right alongside his phone. 

The two of them left the house together and walked up the street to the corner store. "Do you want anything?" Frank asked after he found a decent sized back of dog food. His small way of trying to repay Gerard. 

"I'll grab a drink if that's fine?" He asked. Frank nodded with a smile and Gerard got canned coffees, one for him and one for Frank. He probably should've got something warmer since it was getting cold out, but they didn't have actual coffee machines here so this was gonna have to do. 

Frank snorted when he seen what Gerard put on the counter. "Typical you," he stated. 

Gerard cracked a small smile, "What? I love coffee. Don't worry, one of these are for you."

"Thank you," the cashier who was a relatively old man rung him up, occasionally glancing at Frank's eye almost like he wanted to ask him about it. They were somewhat well acquainted since he came around to Gerard's place often. Sometimes, they made small talk when he was in the store. 

"What happened to your eye?" The cashier finally asked. "It looks pretty bad."

Frank shrugged dully, "A fight." Was all he said, hoping that was enough to make him realize he didn't want to talk about it. Luckily it did and all he responded with was a small hum. 

"I can get you some ice for that if you want? Free of charge." 

"Really? That'd be great honestly," Frank said smiling at the man behind the register. 

"Can you grab me a pack of those ziplock bags from off the shelf?" He asked. 

Frank nodded and was about to get it but Gerard was the first to move. "O-Oh, thank you, Gee."

"Don't worry about it," Gerard responded walking back to the cashier and handed him the box. He opened the box and took out a baggy and tossed it to the side. He came from around the register and grabbed a bag of ice from the icebox and opened it and filled up the bag. He zipped it back up and went back behind the counter to the deli station and ripped a paper towel off its roll and wrapped the icepack with it and handed it to Frank. 

"Thank you so much," Frank smiled graciously and pressed the ice bag against his eye and then payed for their things. 

"No problem, stay out of trouble boys," he said smiling kindly at them both. 

They both nodded and left the store after Gerard grabbed the bag for him. "You're making me feel so useless," Frank laughed a bit. 

"Well you're sore and I want you to heal as quickly as you can," Gerard responded immediately. "So I'm just trying to make everything as easy as possible for you for right now." He playfully bumped his shoulder with Frank's which sent him off his line of walking for a brief moment. 

\--

The finally made it home and Sweet Pea was at the door like she wasn't just sleeping a few minutes ago. She was wagging her tail excitedly and looked even more excited when Gerard pulled out a familiar bag of food. She barked and jumped at his legs. Gerard shook the bag and she whined and barked again. "Oh, she's hungry," he said and put the bag that was now only holding to two cans on the coffee table. 

Frank hummed, "Can I use your bowls for now for her food and water?" 

"Yeah, go ahead," Gerard said as they both walked to the kitchen. Gerard prepared her some food and Frank got the water after putting the ice bag on the counter. They set the food and water down next to the fridge and Sweet Pea immediately began eating. 

"So talking?" Frank mentioned with a sigh, deciding that he just wanted to get it out of the way now rather than avoid it. 

Gerard nodded, "Let's go to the living room." He they walked into the other room and Frank took a seat, kicked his shoes off as sat Indian style on the couch and Gerard took their coffee and passed one to Frank which he immediately cracked open and took a sip of. 

Gerard sat on the other end of the couch and inhaled deeply, knowing that he was going to get mad again. "So how exactly did it lead to the point of him hitting you?" 

"I-I don't know," Frank muttered. "I guess it might've started because I denied him of sex that time because I knew it would hurt. Like at first he was calling me a bitch and stuff as a way of trying to degrade me into agreeing I guess, but I still wouldn't," he sighed, feeling tears well up in his eyes again. "So after that he started yelling at me, I-I wasn't sure what he was saying but after he stopped talking I didn't say anything because I didn't know what he said. So that's when he punched me in the eye and started yelling so you're ignoring me now? So that's how it's gonna be?" He recited looking down at his lap and letting the tears fall freely. Gerard got closer to Frank on the couch and pulled him into his arms. "And it just escalated from that and everything was a bit of a blur until I finally managed to get my hand on the door knob and he yanked me away by my ankle because I crawled to it since I was already on the floor so I was trying to hold onto the door for dear life so the result of that was me landing face first onto the floor." Frank pulled away from Gerard slightly to push his hair that was covering his forehead to reveal a bruise that resided there as well and Gerard gasped slightly when he saw it. "Is there a mark there because it's still throbbing a bit? Hell, my entire head hurts..." 

"Yeah, it's a pretty big bruise, it looks like it's going under your hair too," Gerard said, gently moving Frank's hand away so he could inspect it himself. At this point, Gerard wished he beat Matt into a bloody pulp. He would've been happy to go to jail for it. But luckily he felt a bit more calm. Not like he was going to go crazy because of the rage he was feeling. "After that?" Gerard asked. 

"I like kinda axe kicked his forearm when he grabbed me and that was how I managed to get out of the house and I bolted to the cemetery and tried my best to clean my lip up with my shirt because I could feel it leaking blood but luckily the cut isn't too bad," he explained and wiped his eyes. "And then you came around." 

"I'm so glad I came when I did so you wouldn't have to go back to him..." Gerard murmured. 

"I didn't plan on going back for a while until I remembered Sweet Pea was there..." Frank said. "Ah fuck, it's been a long couple of months thank you so much for letting me stay here. 

"Of course, I'm so pissed off fuck. I wish I never introduced you to him. This wouldn't have happened," Gerard said and held his head in his hands. 

"None of us knew this would've happened. There's no one to blame really. I just have to stop falling for people so easily..." Frank said. "And get better at taking things slow so I can learn who people really are... I'm so sick of getting hurt," Frank shook his head disappointedly. "I always end up with a fucking con-artist. How? Is it something wrong with me?" He asked, he looked at Gerard, not necessarily directing the question at him, but Gerard did have an answer.

"There's nothing wrong with you, you're just... you're just looking in all of the wrong places," Gerard said. "I mean, come on, you're a good person and also very good looking. There's not much about you that someone can't like."

"You think so?"

"I know so," Gerard responded. "But yeah, I think you should take your relationships slower when you just meet the person. Let yourself actually get to know them." 

Frank nodded and Sweet Pea ran into the living room and jumped on the couch and made herself cozy in Gerard's lap. "I'm so bad at that, but I need to try."

Gerard nodded silently and gently stroked Sweet Pea's fur.

\--

Through the months that passed with living with Frank, they were fun. Not like he never expected it to be because they've had sleepovers and things before but he just hasn't hung out with Frank for a while after the incident with Matt. They ended up taking him to a hospital at some point after the first week of Frank living there because he constantly had headaches. He ended up being diagnosed with a concussion which they both suspected. 

But now Frank's been living with Gerard for almost four months now. He was healed and back to his beautiful self and seemed to generally be a lot happier after emotionally recovering as well. Gerard was honored to be apart of the process and watch Frank go back to his normal self. Constantly cracking jokes and making harmless trouble to Gerard and Sweet Pea. He was still a little bit jumpy and sensitive to certain things, but who wouldn't be after going through what he went through. But he was mostly fine and that was all that Gerard was going to ask for. 

On the first couple of nights Frank moved in were awkward. At least on Gerard's part. They shared beds and Frank just hopped in like it was something two grown men friends did normally. But it felt like a bigger deal than that to Gerard. 

Just being around Frank almost all of the time besides when they went to work only made him fall for Frank more. You'd think he'd get tired of him or something, but no, he wanted more with Frank that he had. But even as naturally of a flirty person he was, it didn't mean he had the guts to ask anyone out. And this was Frank. He's been his best friend for as long as he could remember. As much as he didn't want to risk ruining that with a relationship, he couldn't help but feel like it would work out. But he always kept second guessing himself and saying that it was too soon. He just got out of a bad break up. Anything he could say to postpone him actually asking Frank out, he's already told himself, with many more excuses to follow. But in reality he was just afraid of reject and it really being too soon. He wasn't sure when a good time would be. But it was mostly depending on him. He knew he was scared to actually say anything. He knew plenty of time has passed since Matt but he wasn't sure if enough time has passed since Matt. And another problem was that Frank didn't seem to be looking for a boyfriend. But this crush was getting so much harder to deal with, especially with being around him all the time, it was almost unbearable. 

To see someone every single day who's the epiphany of everything you ever wanted but you're not sure if you can have him. But you want him so bad you'd do anything for him even if you can't get him. That's what Frank was to Gerard. "Gee?" Frank called flopping on the couch and letting his head rest in Gerard's lap, snapping him out of his thoughts. Gerard hummed in response. "You've been so out if it lately, are you okay?" Frank asked looking up to him with his beautiful and big hazel eyes. 

"Yeah... Maybe I might be getting a little sick," Gerard lied and shrugged. He knew he was just getting down because he was sulking in his feelings and couldn't seem to be able to get out of it or do something about it. 

"Maybe..." Frank replied. He sat up and placed the back of his hand on Gerard's forehead. "You feel fine," Frank observed with a quizzical expression. "Are you sure there's nothing bothering you?"

Gerard nodded, "I'm sure." He smiled a bit, hoping it was a bit more convincing. 

But it was proven not to be when Frank bluntly said, "You're lying." He sighed softly, "Really, tell me what's wrong. I'll be your best friend," he said with a jokingly cooing voice and pushing Gerard's shoulder gently with a childish smile. 

"You already are my best friend," Gerard couldn't help but laugh a bit. "But really, it's nothing to worry about Frank." 

"So it is something?" He asked. He sat down next to Gerard properly and it wasn't helping that he was pressed up so closely against Gerard's side. That was just another trait about Frank that he found extremely endearing. He had no concept of personal space. 

"Frank, please," Gerard sighed, slumping back into to cushion of the couch. 

"Come on, if it's not something to worry about, then what's the big deal?" He pushed. 

Gerard took a deep breath and then sighed, feeling his heart beat in his chest. And it was silent for several moments before he said, "Because it's about you."

Frank didn't say anything for a moment. His face only fell. It's about you, that couldn't have been good. "Wha-What about me?" He asked in an extremely timid voice. Similar to the voice he had during the beginning of his time living here. Timid and scared, treading on thin ice. 

Gerard looked down into his lap as he tried to gather his thoughts. "I... I don't know you're just driving me crazy," he explained. "Like not in that way that I don't want you here anymore. I just... I just want more of you than I have but I don't know how to get it..."

Frank furrowed his eyebrows, not quite getting it. "What do you mean?" 

Gerard didn't want to say it straight out. He was too nervous, but it seemed like he had to at this point. He could feel himself himself folding up. He really hoped this wouldn't fuck anything up and that it worked out. "I... I like you a lot Frank. I want to be the boyfriend that you only have good memories with and the one who treats you the way you deserve. I want to be the genuinely good boyfriend you always wanted. And I know that I can and you should know that you can trust what I'm saying because you know me inside out. We've known each other all our lives so we've saw each other at our worst and our best but it was never too much that we couldn't handle it so you and I both know that you can trust me and I can trust you. And to be completely honest, me saying I liked you was complete bullshit because I actually love you so much more than a best friend and I'd do anything for you..." He closed his eyes when Frank didn't say anything back.

But his heart beat sped up when Frank muttered, "Finally." 

"What?" Gerard asked opening his eyes.

"I love you too but I was scared to say anything," Frank admitted. "It's kind of rough being friends for a long time and catching feelings. You don't want to ruin that. But promise me that if this somehow doesn't work out, we'll still be best friends after because I don't want to lose you to a relationship."

"Of course," Gerard nodded with a smile, his heart beating excitedly and his hands beginning to sweat. 

"Alright, now come here you big scaredy cat," Frank giggled. He pressed his lips to Gerard's and Gerard felt like all of the weight was lifted off his shoulders and his heart from that kiss alone. Frank wrapped his arms around the back of Gerard's neck to pulled him in closer and he hummed happily and then pulled away with a small smack. 

"To be fair, you were scared too and I was the one to speak up," Gerard pointed out. He gave Frank another small kiss with a gentle smirk resided on his lips. 

"Yeah! But you wouldn't have if I didn't pry it out of you," Frank retorted. "I probably would've said something first if it weren't for me being concerned about your well being." 

Gerard hummed, "Oh be quiet, silly. You know that's not true."

"Sweet Pea does, she's like a lie detector," he made kissy sounds and whistled and they could hear the bell of Sweet Pea's collar get louder and louder the closer she got. Gerard rolled his eyes playfully and unconvinced. 

"Mm, sure."

"Go to that end of the couch," he said pointing to the other side, "And we'll see if what I said is true or not." Gerard nodded pursing his lips and sat at the other end of the couch. "Hold Sweet Pea in the middle and whoever she comes to first means that they would've actually asked the other out first if it hadn't been for me being concerned. You can call her to get her attention," he explained. "3, 2, 1. Let go!"

After that it became a confusing battle of them both persistently calling and cooing at Sweet Pea and her constantly looking back and for at them both, not sure who to go to first. After a few moments, she jumped off the couch and ran back upstairs. "Sweet Pea!" Frank whined and laughed shortly after. He looked at Gerard who was looking back at him. 

"Some lie detector, huh," he teased. 

Frank scoffed, "No, that just means the odds are fifty-fifty." 

Gerard shrugged. "Works for me, now come back over here."

"You were actually over here first but I guess I'll go over there," Frank responded and Gerard rolled his eyes before pressing his lips to Frank's.


End file.
